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What do you call a woman with no arms or legs who likes to give blow jobs?
Hedy.
What's WASP foreplay?
An engagement ring.
What does a Valley Girl say when she goes down on an African-American?
"Gag me with a coon!"
If Tarzan and Jane were Puerto Rican, what would cheetah be?
Pregnant.
How many people does it take to bury an Italian?
Two. There're only two handles on a garbage can.
What's the worst thing about having a colostomy?
Finding shoes to match the bag.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I.
Hooker: "You've got twenty bucks and I've got the time."
Pole: "Thanks, but I already have a watch.
Why do African-American women make such good housekeepers?
Built-in Brillo pads.
What do you call a person who can't walk through a pasture without getting shit all over their shoes? An incowpoop.
How come the leper couldn't speak?
The cat had his tongue.
Hear about the new remedy for child molesters?
Incesticide.
What's an IUD for homos?
A fruit loop.
How do we know that Adam and Eve were Irish? Adam looked down at Eve and said, "Oh, hair" and Eve looked down at Adam and said, "Oh, tool."
Why did Jesse Jackson decide not to run for President again?
His ancestors were caught posing for National Geographic.
Why do Mexicans drive low-riders?
So they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time.
Why do Texan girls walk bowlegged?
Everything's BIG in Texas.
Wife to amorous hubby: "Honey, could you take your ring off?
It's hurting me." Husband: "Ring, hell, that's my wrist watch."
Why is sex better with sheep? They're always in the mood, never have a headache, and when you're done, you can eat them.
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