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Two WASPs making love:
WASP #1: "Did I hurt you?"
WASP #2: "No, why?"
WASP #1: "You moved."
Why do African-American men like pussy so much?
Because the outside looks like watermelon and the inside smells like catfish.
Why do Mexicans eat beans every day?
So they can take a bubble bath at night.
What do you call a governess who farts?
A hootenanny.
What's red and black and jumps in the air?
A baby in a toaster.
What kind of hamburgers do Italians eat?
Woppers.
What do you call a n Oriental on barbiturates?
A mello-yellow.
Why shouldn't you buy Polish goldfish?
They drown.
Why is San Francisco like granola?
Once you get past the fruit and nuts, all you have left is the flakes.
What do you do when an elephant comes n your window?
Swim for your life.
What do you call a JAP on a water bed?
The Dead Sea.
Hear about the new scratch-and-sniff stickers for lepers?
They include a nose.
What's the worst thing about being an atheist?
You have no one to talk to when you're getting a great blow job.
What's Helen Keller's favorite song?
"The Sound of Silence.
Two vain men are peeing by a river and one says, "Gee, this water's cold."
The second says, "and deep!"
Why is 68 the speed limit for a woman in bed?
Because at 69 she blows a rod.
What's the difference between the Suez Canal and Leona Helmsley?
The Suez Canal is a busy ditch.
How can you tell if a fence is electrified?
Throw a puppy at it and see if he gets fried.
How many Teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. You gotta PROBLEM wid dat?
Define "headmaster."
Someone who's expert at giving blow jobs.
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