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Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mother...!!
Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.
Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common?
A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it.
Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.
Q: What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating.
Q: What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams every night??
A: Hanson.
Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
A: Made her chain too long.
Q: What's somewhat brown and often found in children's underpants?
A: Michael Jackson's hand.
Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.
Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.
Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling
Q: What are three words you dread the most while making love?
A: "Honey, I'm home."
Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job?
A: You just KNOW she'll swallow.
Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
A: They don't want to wear out the camel.
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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