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How can you tell if a Polish woman is having her period?
She's only wearing one sock.
What did Trump say to the beautiful blonde who accosted him in the elevator of the Trump Towers and begged to give him a blow job?
"What's in it for me?"
Why don't African-Americans use seat belts?
Because it's safer putting Velcro on the headrests.
Define "henpecked." A sterile husband afraid to tell his pregnant wife.
What's a Mexican Express card?
A switchblade.
What's black and blue and goes swish, tha-dump, tha-dump?
A baby going down an incinerator.
Why is sex like a bridge game?
You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.
Man: "What would your mom say if she saw you?
" Hooker: "She'd kill me. I'm on her corner."
What do pitchers and gigolos have in common?
Fast balls.
What do you call a woman with no arms or legs in a cash register?
Penny.
How can you tell the Polish secretary?
She's the one with white-out all over her computer.
What's red and white and black all over?
A nun with stab wounds.
Why does a Jewish divorce cost so much?
It's worth it.
What's red and green and goes one thousand miles an hour?
A frog in a blender.
How did Helen Keller's teacher keep her from talking in class?
She made her wear mittens.
What did the impotent man and the frigid woman accomplish in bed together?
A bilateral freeze.
Define "bad acne." Waking up in the park with a blind man reading your face.
What's a Cambodian abortion?
A hungry rat on a string.
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