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What were the first words Adam said to Eve?
"Stand back! I don't know how big this thing's gonna get."
Save the whales, eagles, and dolphins... If you save enough, you can trade them in for lawn furniture.
What do you get when you sit on a fat person?
Thyroids.
How do you save Helen Keller from drowning?
Hand-to-had resuscitation.
What's the Greek army motto?
"Never leave your buddy's behind."
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a prostitute?
A hooker who does it for peanuts and won't ever forget it.
What do you call ten African-Americans butt fucking?
Soul Train.
Why did the Muslim stop eating his wife?
he overheard someone call her a pig.
Why do men swim faster than women?
Because they have a rudder.
How do you have fun with a dead hamster?
Tie its tail to the exercise wheel and give it a spin.
What do outhouses and candy have in common?
If there's no hole, it's not a lifesaver.
Irani saying: A woman for sons, a boy for pleasure, and a goat for sheer ecstasy.
What's the worst thing about killing 2,000 students at Tiananmen Square?
An hour later, you want to kill 2,000 more.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean?
Skip.
How can you tell if a girl is ticklish?
Give her your test-tickle.
What's the disadvantage of visiting a leper prostitute?
She can only give head once.
Man after rushing into a public bathroom and whipping out his
twelve-incher: "Whew, I just made it." Drunk at the next urinal: "Can you make me one?"
Why does it take two homosexuals to rape a girl?
One to hold her down and the other to tease her hair.
Why do JAP's close their eyes while they're fucking?
So they can pretend they're shopping.
What do you call a girl with no arms and legs taking downers?
Barb.
What's eighteen inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?
George Bush's tie.
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