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1st Pole: "Oh, no! The cops are following us. Are their flashers on?
" 2nd Pole: "Yep ...nope...yep...nope..."
What do you call a skinny Protestant?
A WISP.
How does an African-American fairy tale start?
"You muthafuckers ain't gonna believe this shit...."
What do Mexicans call K-Mart shopping carts?
Baby buggies.
Why do you tie a baby's umbilical cord?
If you don't, he goes wwhhooossshh!
Why don't Greeks need to wear life preservers?
Because oil floats.
What's a cannibal's favorite religious text?
How to Serve Your Fellow Man.
What's a baby before it's born?
Daddy's little squirt.
How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb, and the other to drink till the room spins.
Hear about the whore who had an appendectomy?
The doctor sewed up the wrong hole, so now she's making money on the side.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a jewelry store?
Ruby.
What's Irish and comes out in the Spring?
Paddy O'Furniture.
What's white, spotted, and gooey and rains down from the sky?
The Coming of the Lord.
What do you call a calf's pussy?
Veal cuntlet.
Define "hobosexualist." A bum fuck.
What were the captain of the oil tanker Valdez's last words?
"No, I said Tanqueray on the rocks!"
You know God wouldn't have made women smell like fish...
...if he hadn't made cum look like tartar sauce.
Why did they kick the gays out of heaven?
They were eating all the prophets.
How do you bury a Panamanian?
Flush.
Hear about the new jokes for the deaf?
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