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What did the potato chip say to the battery?
"If you're Eveready, I'm Frito-lay."
What did one ball say to the other?
"Why should we hang? It was Peter that did all the shooting."
How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?
Three. One to eat the possum, and two to watch for cars.
How can you tell when you've passed an elephant?
The toilet gets clogged.
Hear about the new line of appliances for gays?
They're called kitchen AIDS.
What's grosser than gross?
Siamese twins attached at the mouth and one throws up.
What do Greeks wear to weddings?
Formal fish nets.
Why aren't there any African-American nuns?
Because they find it difficult to say Superior after Mother.
What's the difference between Rock Hudson and George Bush?
George's aides haven't killed him, yet.
What do you call an Irish prostitute?
A pig in a blanket.
Hear about the Pole who bought a Trans-Am?
It took him a month to realize he could drive at night.
What do you call someone with no arms or legs lying out in the sun?
Ray.
Hear about the blind skunk who tried to rape a fart?
Why do women have pussies?
So men will talk to them.
What's red and white and screams?
A baby having an epileptic fit on a bed of nails.
How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in and the other to shoot the witness.
What do you call an African-American hooker with braces on her teeth?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.
What happens when a Vulcan woman's tampon fails?
She gets Toxic Spock Syndrome.
What's grosser than gross?
Feeling your grandpa get a hard-on while you're sitting on his lap.
What's smaller than a teeny-weeny flea?
A flea's teeny weenie.
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