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1. If you're gay or lesbian, it's a biological error that inhibits you from relating normally to the opposite sex.
- Dr. Laura
2. It's a one-to-one dialogue. You open your mouth and you're talking to 6 million people.
- Derek Jameson
3. And there's the Victoria Memorial, built as a memorial to Victoria.
- David Dimbleby
4. His brother failed; lets see if he can succeed and maintain the family tradition.
- David Coleman
5. Direct mail - it falls out of every magazine you open these days.
- Derek Jameson
6. I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
- David Dinkins
7. I'm making an announcement: Not one penny will I give to AIDS anything as long as [public sex is allowed in gay bathhouses]. Not cent one. It's a preventable disease. If you don't want to prevent it, I don't want to pay for it.
- Dr. Laura
8. Marble Arch was outside the Palace, but now Marble Arch is at Marble Arch.
- David Dimbleby
9. For those of you haven't read the book, it's being published tomorrow.
- David Frost
10. There's a lot of good older players around, but very few.
- David Carr
11. Sometimes when I'm swimming, I think that maybe someday I'll put my red Speedo up for auction. Or maybe I'll donate it to the Smithsonian. They can stuff it with two plums and a gherkin and put it on display.
- David Duchovny
12. If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
- Dick Cavett
13. A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
- Dan Quayle
14. I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the
future.
- Dan Quayle
15. I want to be Robin to Bush's Batman.
- Dan Quayle
16. This election is about who's going to be the next President of the United States!
- Dan Quayle
17. A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
- Dan Quayle
18. In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up to.
- Dennis Miller
19. 'Its good to be back here in the great state of Chicago.
- Dan Quayle
20. I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.
- Dan Quayle
21. If Ross Perot runs, that's good for us. If he doesn't run, it's good for us.
- Dan Quayle
22. We're going to have the best- educated American people in the world.
- Dan Quayle
23. Half this game is ninety percent mental.
- Danny Ozark, Phillies manager
24. I'll tell you, it's Big Business. If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it's Big Business.
- Donald Trump
25. If crime went down 100%, it would still be fifty times higher than it should be.
26. D. C. Councilman John Bowman
27. I went in and said, "If I see one more gratuitous shot of a woman's body, I'm quitting . . . " I think the show should be emotional story lines, morals, real- life heroes. And that's what we're doing . . .
- David Hasselhoff, star of Baywatch
28. The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. . . this century's history. . . . We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.
- Dan Quayle
29. I've got my faults, but living in the past isn't one of them. There's no future in it.
- Detroit Tigers manager Sparky Anderson
30. There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.
- David Coleman (Montreal Olympics)
31. My shoes are size 2 and a 1/2, the same size as my feet.
- Elaine Page
32. Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued . . . Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
- Excerpt from a letter, Illinois Department of Public Aid
33. Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
- Epicurus
34. It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
- Emiliano Zapata
35. If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet.
- Ernest Bevin, British foreign minister
36. This country needs a spear chucker, and I think we've got him up on this podium.
- Eugene Dorff, mayor of Kenosha, Wisconsin, introducing candidate Jesse Jack
37. The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle.
- ESPN commentator Bob Varsha, covering a Grand Prix race
38. Richard Burton had a tremendous passion for the English language, especially the spoken and written word.
- Frank Bough
39. The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia
40. I want you guys to pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle.
- Florida State football coach, Bill Peterson
41. Alright you guys, line up alphabetically by your height.
- Florida State football coach, Bill Peterson
42. Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand.
- Football Coach, Duffy Daugherty
43. Men, I want you to think of one word and one word only: Super Bowl.
- Football Coach, Bill Peterson
44. There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa
45. Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.
- Former Australian cabinet minister, Keppel Enderbery
46. If a third or more of our population were killed in an attack (a conservative estimate by the standards of the Rand Corporation's "Study of Nonmilitary Defense") a stronger estate tax would have a tremendous revenue potential.
- from a 1963 Federal Reserve System planning document
47. At the Lincoln Park traps on Sunday. . . over 80 shooters took part in the program. Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself.
- From Chicago Rotary Club journal
48. The Rolling Stones suffered a great loss with the death of Ian Stewart, the man who had for so many years played piano quietly and silently with them on stage.
- Andy Peebles
49. Eye witnesses were on the scene in minutes.
- Adam Boulton
50. You seem to be a man who likes to keep his feet on the ground - - you sail a lot.
- Alan Titchmarsh, BBC1
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