| |
|
He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of
its own.
- Margaret Halsey
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four; unless there are
three other people.
- Orson Welles
He's so fat, he can be his own running mate.
- Johnny Carson
She not only kept her lovely figure, she's added so much to it.
- Bob Fosse
Elizabeth Taylor's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on an aspirin.
- Joan Rivers
A picture of her takes 3 hrs to download on a 56k modem.
One of the great mysteries in a woman's life, is how a two pound box of
chocolate can make her gain five pounds.
Your local taxi service send tipper lorries when you phone them.
She has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
She wears a watch on each arm - one for each time zone.
After she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party.
Her belt size is "Equator."
She has the only car in town with stretch marks.
Her ass is so fat, she has to use blankets to wipe it.
The only reason her husband doesn't ring her neck is because he can't find it
under all her chins!
The chief excitement in her life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.
Her body is a temple with ample parking in the rear.
His nickname is Moby.
He has his own food warehouse.
When you go to the movies, you sit next to everyone.
She has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
When her husband makes love to her, he has to roll over twice to get off!
She has to iron her clothes on the driveway.
She has to put her lipstick on with a paint roller.
When she tripped on 4th Avenue, she bounced and rolled all the way to 12th!
When he went bungee jumping, the bridge collapsed!
When he steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please."
When she steps on the Speaking Scale, it screams.
When you stand on the weighing scale, it reads "To be continued!"
When you stand on the weighing scale, it reads "Sorry, we don't weigh
livestock."
He has his own area code.
Her mass is infinite - she's a singularity!
Her mass is so great, that she has her own event horizon.
He's so fat, God couldn't light Earth till he moved.
Whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in.
She went on a successful diet program and lost 200lbs. She's now a healthy
739lbs |
|
|
