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Whenever cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven,
in its infinite mercy, sends them a fat missionary.
- Oscar Wilde
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman,
shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman
on a Saturday night.
- Woody Allen
What is it the Bible teaches us? - rapine, cruelty, and murder. What is it the
Testament teaches us? - to believe that the Almighty committed debauchery with a
woman engaged to be married, and the belief of this debauchery is called faith.
- Thomas Paine
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
- George Deacon
I dislike blasphemy on purely rational grounds. If there is no God, blasphemy is
stupid and unnecessary; if there is, then it's damned dangerous.
- Flan O'Brien
If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
Religion is the fashionable substitute for belief.
- Oscar Wilde
The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists -
that is why they invented hell.
- Bertrand Russell
Religion is the source of all imaginable follies and disturbances; it is the
parent of fanaticism and civil discord; it is the enemy of mankind.
- Voltaire
I sometimes think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
- Oscar Wilde
The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason.
- Benjamin Franklin
Lighthouses are more helpful than churches.
- Benjamin Franklin
A clergyman is one who feels himself called upon to live without working at the
expense of the rascals who work to live
- Voltaire
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then
having the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns
Isn't it crazy with all these church scandals? I'm beginning to understand how
all those Bibles ended up in hotel rooms.
- Jay Leno
The U.S. Cardinals said they are going to develop a code of ethics to help them
deal with the sexual scandal. Wait a minute, I thought their already was a code
of ethics, it's called the Bible.
- Jay Leno
The Lord himself prefers common looking people. That is why he makes so many of
them.
- Abraham Lincoln
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
- Woody Allen
I would have made a good Pope.
- Richard Nixon
Man is quite insane. He wouldn't know how to create a maggot, and he creates
Gods by the dozen.
- Michel de Montaigne
If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
- Mark Twain
Don't tell me you're a Christian. Let me figure it out.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation,
whose purposes are modeled after our own - a God, in short, who is but a
reflection of human frailty. Neither can I believe that the individual survives
the death of his body, although feeble souls harbor such thoughts through fear
or ridiculous egotisms.
- Albert Einstein
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
- Voltaire |
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