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She bellies up to the gourmet cracker-barrel and delivers
laid-back wisdom with the serenity of a down-home Buddha who has discovered that
stool softeners really work.
- Florence King, on Molly Ivins
She looks like something that would eat its young.
- Dorothy Parker, on Dame Edith Evans
She is a lady short on looks. Absolutely deprived of any dress sense. Has a
figure like a Jurassic monster. Very greedy when it comes to loot. No tact, and
wants to upstage everyone else.
- Sir Nicholas Fairbairn, on Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York
No woman of our time has gone further with less mental equipment.
- Clifton Fadiman, on Clare Booth Luce
She looked like a huge ball of fur on two well-developed legs.
- Nancy Mitford, on Princess Margaret
She's about as feminine as a sidewalk drill.
- Maryon Allen, on Phyllis Schlafly
Eighty-three percent of Britons say they forgive Princess Di for her infidelity.
Apparently, the other 7 percent have never gotten a good look at Prince Charles.
- Conan O'Brien
It's been reported that John Bobbitt's porno movie grossed over 10 million. I'm
not sure whether that's dollars or people.
- Conan O'Brien
Roseanne Barr is a bowling ball looking for an alley.
- Mr. Blackwell
The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat
being neutered.
- Johnny Carson
She is as much fun as barbed wire.
-Tom Hutchinson, on Sandra Bernhard
I treasure every moment that I do not see her.
- Oscar Levant, on Phyllis Diller
When it comes to acting, Joan Rivers has the range of a wart.
- Stewart Klein |
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