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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an
exception.
- Groucho Marx
I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere.
- Noel Coward
It's like cuddling with a Butterball turkey.
- Jeff Foxworthy
Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.
- Alan Bennett
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
- Groucho Marx
She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.
- Noel Coward
She is a peacock in everything but beauty.
- Oscar Wilde
She looked as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth - or anywhere else.
- Elsa Lanchester
She not only kept her lovely figure, she's added so much to it.
- Bob Fosse
She's had so many facelifts, she talks through her nose.
- Tony Blackburn
He is all ice and wooden faced acrobatics.
- Percy Wyndham Lewis, on Wystan Hugh Auden
A tall, thin, spectacled man with the face of a harassed rat.
- Russell Maloney, on James Thurber
She resembles the Venus de Milo: she is very old, has no teeth, and has white
spots on her yellow skin.
- Heinrich Heine
At 50 everyone has the face he deserves.
- George Orwell
She spends her day powdering her face till she looks like a bled pig.
- Margot Asquith
His voice was the most obnoxious squeak I ever was tormented with.
- Charles Lamb
I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.
- Oscar Wilde
She was a large woman who seemed not so much dressed as upholstered.
- James Matthew Barrie
She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin.
- Will Rogers
She was what we used to call a suicide blonde - dyed by her own hand.
- Saul Bellow
She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork.
- Jonathan Swift
The tautness of his face sours ripe grapes.
- William Shakespeare
He looked like something that had gotten loose from Macy's Thanksgiving Day
Parade.
- Harpo Marx on Alexander Woollcott
He has a face like a warthog that has been stung by a wasp.
- David Feherty on Colin Montgomerie
Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?
- Don Rickles, to Ernest Borgnine
His face was filled with broken commandments.
- John Masefield
His features resembled a fossilized wash rag.
- Alan Brien |
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