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Pushing forty? She's hanging on for dear life.
- Ivy Compton-Burnett
One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would
tell one that would tell one anything.
- Oscar Wilde
My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.
- Joan Rivers
Her husband is pleading with her to have birthdays again, he doesn't want to
grow old alone.
The best years of her life were the ten years between 29 and 30.
At 21 she was chosen Miss America. In those days, there were very few Americans.
She is very loyal. Years ago she reached an age she liked, and she has stuck to
it.
She?s been pressing thirty for so long now, it?s pleated.
Birthdays are anniversaries on which her husband takes a day off, and she takes
a year off.
She is not what she was 15 years ago, she is nine years older.
She has discovered the secret of ?Youth?, she lies about her age.
She has a twin brother who is practically identical except for one minor detail,
he is forty 49 and she is 39.
Her husband is a diplomat, he remembers her birthday and not her age.
She is celebrating the tenth anniversary of her 39th birthday.
She finally admitted that she turned 40, but did not say when.
She knew Heinz when he had only 7 varieties.
She does not have an enemy in the world, she?s outlived them all.
40 has been the most difficult for her to pass, it?s taken her eight years.
She does not object to men who kiss and tell. In fact at her age, she needs all
the publicity she can get.
His Zimmer frame has a sticker on it that says, "My other car is a wheelchair."
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