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He has never been known to use a word that might send a
reader to the dictionary.
- William Faulkner on Ernest Hemingway
Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?
- Ernest Hemingway, in reply
He's phony, using his blackness to get his way.
- Joe Frazier on Muhammad Ali
Joe Frazier is so ugly he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wildlife.
- Muhammad Ali, in reply
Winston, if you were my husband I would flavor your coffee with poison.
- Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it.
- Winston Churchill, in reply
Sir, you will die either of the pox or on the gallows.
- Earl of Sandwich to John Wilkes
That, my lord, depends on whether I embrace your mistress or your principles.
- John Wilkes, in reply
Do you mind if I smoke?
- Oscar Wilde to Sarah Bernhardt
I don't care if you burn.
- Sarah Bernhardt, in reply
My dear Whistler, you leave your pictures in such a sketchy, unfinished state.
Why don't you ever finish them?
- Frederic Leighton to James McNeill Whistler
My dear Leighton, why do you ever begin yours?
- James McNeill Whistler, in reply
What are your lowest terms for actors?
- Actor Brian Rix to Landlady
A thieving bunch of bastards!
- Landlady, in reply
I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend -
if you have one.
-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second - if there is one.
- Winston Churchill, in reply
Hello, you remember me, don't you?
- Man at reunion to Writer Alexander Woollcott
I can't remember your name but don't tell me.
- Alexander Woollcott, in reply
Do you have to leave so early?
- Hostess to Actor Leonard Rossiter
No, it's purely a matter of choice.
- Leonard Rossiter, in reply
Winston, your drunk!
- Bessie Braddock to Winston Churchill
Bessie, your ugly, but tomorrow morning I shall be sober.
- Winston Churchill, in reply
After half a century of democratic advance, the whole process has ground to a
halt with a Fourteenth Earl.
- Harold Wilson to Sir Alec Douglas-Home
As far as the 14th Earl is concerned I suppose that Mr. Wilson, when you come to
think of it, is the 14th Mr. Wilson
- Sir Alec Douglas-Home in reply
I can't bear fools.
- Pompous party-goer sneering at a fellow guest
That's odd - your mother could.
- Dorothy Parker, in reply |
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